"Wholeness" © 1999 ~  pencil mandala by Carol E. Fairbanks

                                       Remembering My Wholeness

"The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." Marcel Proust

The only way I know to "have new eyes" is to redirect my them toward my heart...to move my focus away from what everyone else is doing and center them instead on my soul's journey.  I have found two effective ways for me to do this - one is to hike in nature by some inspiring vista, and the other is to create visual imagery from my heart center. The above pencil drawing was done when I went through a particularly challenging illness about 13 years ago. I had sought out this art process when I needed a renewed concept of "wholeness" not only in my body, but also in my mind.  

In doing a mandala workshop with the late Judith Cornell in Chicago, this image above  "danced" from my pencils.  It said, "You are whole, complete and well. You are beautiful. You are okay!"  My fears were calmed and my vision was cleared. A new landscape gradually appeared before my eyes, and my life was forever changed.  This image gave me a glimpse of what my life could be like if I lived those positive affirmations reflected in my drawing.

In the past 13 years, I recovered my health, got certified as a yoga instructor, completed Mandala teacher training, moved to Oregon and have had the adventure of a lifetime!  When I finally saw a landscape of unlimited possibility for my life, the opportunities began to appear. 

So why contemplate all this now?  Because right now, I want to have "new eyes" about what is going on with my life. I am now assessing my choices and creating a new landscape once again.  Getting involved with Facebook has helped me to learn new skills and to better connect with others, but it has placed my eyes and too much attention on what others are doing and saying. An imbalance in the direction of my attention can result in a of loss of energy and personal power. Rather than using my power to create my life's dreams, I was instead focusing on using my power to control.  And that, my friends, brings incredible unhappiness.  

So my "voyage" now is inward with this blog, with no expectations....with my eyes on my what I want to manifest....walking my journey....in my way.  I wonder what new wonderful things I will discover.....what new landscapes yet await me on this adventure of mine.