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| "Radiant Blooms" © 2010 ~ watercolor by Carol E. Fairbanks |
" I want to encourage women to embrace their own uniqueness. Because just like a rose is beautiful, so is a sunflower, so is a peony. I mean, all flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that's like women too."
~ Miranda Kerr
Valuing Our Uniqueness
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| ""Sun Blessing" © 2013 ~ photograph by Carol E. Fairbanks |
In our culture, our tendency is to make everything a contest. We contrast, compare and rank order achievements of people and, as we do so, we often lose the uniqueness of each person's expression in the process. When I taught elementary school, I saw how a few children who "won" at academic and athletic competitions got rewarded and felt "good" about themselves, while the majority of kids often felt less than, as they verbally discounted the value of their individual offerings.
One year, when I taught in public school, I coached a group of students who entered the Creative Problem Solving Bowl competition. The idea was that if this intellectual activity was made into a contest (like sports), kids would value it more and try harder. This was our first year of being involved with the bowl, and my group was competing against students who were more experienced with the problem solving and competitive process. My group had ranked high in the local district judging, and we went to the state competitive bowl. The creative results of some of the more experienced groups at the state bowl were amazing, due in part to their previous experience with creative thinking competitions. Rather than being proud of the achievement of going to the competitive bowl their first year, my group of 5th and 6th graders was devastated that they didn't place in the awards at the state level. No words of praise or encouragement on my part seem to speak louder than those trophies given out that day, and, sadly, they went home feeling like failures.
When this competitive approach is applied to creative expression, I believe the effects can be even more destructive. I taught art at the end of my teaching career in public school and found the confidence of students in art making and creative risk taking exhibited a marked decline as students got older. For example, when I placed a variety of art materials on the table and asked students to creatively use these materials to generate their own unique creation, the younger students were much more confident and successful than the older students. And the younger children in the primary grades ( 1 through 3) seemed to have a lot more fun and were very enthusiastic about the opportunity to be creative. They joyfully shared their incredibly unique creations with one another with very little judgement or criticism. The older children, progressively in each grade, demonstrated a very difficult time in taking risks and appeared to lack the confidence to even conceive creative ideas for the materials. The sixth graders, who were thoroughly used to needing the "right" answer, had the worst time of all, and some even refused to create anything. Those that did create something were very reluctant to share what they had made with others, and even some hid their creations, fearing harsh judgement from their peers. How did the children learn not to have confidence in their ability to be creative? Did the emphasis on testing and competitions that they experienced throughout their years in school play a part in this decline?
And our exposure to competitive experiences doesn't end with our years in school. Our culture places a lot of emphasis on judging who is the "best". A huge amount of money and time are involved with activities that promote comparing and judging. We seem to be addicted to the thrill of establishing our #1 ranking in many activities, from athletic sports to art making. As a result, we have developed a sense of separation from one another, both individually and in community. We often fear the "success" of others and view them as having the "power" to take our worthiness from us. We learn to judge each other's achievements as "good" or "bad" and often miss the deeper message of empowerment that those creations have for each of us. We have become a country of people that is alienated from our own creativity and uniqueness. I often hear adults say that they "hate art", and that they judge themselves as not being creative at all. The world is much less than it could be, when it is deprived of all of our unique expressions. Even the loss of one person's uniqueness makes a difference.
Given this tendency of our culture to be aggressively competitive and judgmental, it is no wonder that we evaluate and compare the outside appearance of one another. Our magazine covers often display photographs of those who are judged to be the prettiest, the sexiest, the richest or "you-name-it". The uniqueness of each person often gets lost in the race to be number one. If we gave more encouragement and honor to each person as a value to our community, it might be a very different world. Might there be less violence and hatred?
The quote at the beginning of this blog mentions women, but I feel what it says is very appropriate for both men and women. Seeing the value and beauty in different kinds of flowers might help us to recognize the inherent worth in one another. They say that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." If we could also see that beauty in each person and mirror that essence back to them, might we not encourage a unique expression in all, rather than just a "talented" few? And wouldn't that bring greater joy and harmony to the whole world, with those radiant gifts of everyone's uniqueness? If we can see the love and beauty in a rose, can we not see it in one another?
One year, when I taught in public school, I coached a group of students who entered the Creative Problem Solving Bowl competition. The idea was that if this intellectual activity was made into a contest (like sports), kids would value it more and try harder. This was our first year of being involved with the bowl, and my group was competing against students who were more experienced with the problem solving and competitive process. My group had ranked high in the local district judging, and we went to the state competitive bowl. The creative results of some of the more experienced groups at the state bowl were amazing, due in part to their previous experience with creative thinking competitions. Rather than being proud of the achievement of going to the competitive bowl their first year, my group of 5th and 6th graders was devastated that they didn't place in the awards at the state level. No words of praise or encouragement on my part seem to speak louder than those trophies given out that day, and, sadly, they went home feeling like failures.
When this competitive approach is applied to creative expression, I believe the effects can be even more destructive. I taught art at the end of my teaching career in public school and found the confidence of students in art making and creative risk taking exhibited a marked decline as students got older. For example, when I placed a variety of art materials on the table and asked students to creatively use these materials to generate their own unique creation, the younger students were much more confident and successful than the older students. And the younger children in the primary grades ( 1 through 3) seemed to have a lot more fun and were very enthusiastic about the opportunity to be creative. They joyfully shared their incredibly unique creations with one another with very little judgement or criticism. The older children, progressively in each grade, demonstrated a very difficult time in taking risks and appeared to lack the confidence to even conceive creative ideas for the materials. The sixth graders, who were thoroughly used to needing the "right" answer, had the worst time of all, and some even refused to create anything. Those that did create something were very reluctant to share what they had made with others, and even some hid their creations, fearing harsh judgement from their peers. How did the children learn not to have confidence in their ability to be creative? Did the emphasis on testing and competitions that they experienced throughout their years in school play a part in this decline?
And our exposure to competitive experiences doesn't end with our years in school. Our culture places a lot of emphasis on judging who is the "best". A huge amount of money and time are involved with activities that promote comparing and judging. We seem to be addicted to the thrill of establishing our #1 ranking in many activities, from athletic sports to art making. As a result, we have developed a sense of separation from one another, both individually and in community. We often fear the "success" of others and view them as having the "power" to take our worthiness from us. We learn to judge each other's achievements as "good" or "bad" and often miss the deeper message of empowerment that those creations have for each of us. We have become a country of people that is alienated from our own creativity and uniqueness. I often hear adults say that they "hate art", and that they judge themselves as not being creative at all. The world is much less than it could be, when it is deprived of all of our unique expressions. Even the loss of one person's uniqueness makes a difference.
Given this tendency of our culture to be aggressively competitive and judgmental, it is no wonder that we evaluate and compare the outside appearance of one another. Our magazine covers often display photographs of those who are judged to be the prettiest, the sexiest, the richest or "you-name-it". The uniqueness of each person often gets lost in the race to be number one. If we gave more encouragement and honor to each person as a value to our community, it might be a very different world. Might there be less violence and hatred?
The quote at the beginning of this blog mentions women, but I feel what it says is very appropriate for both men and women. Seeing the value and beauty in different kinds of flowers might help us to recognize the inherent worth in one another. They say that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." If we could also see that beauty in each person and mirror that essence back to them, might we not encourage a unique expression in all, rather than just a "talented" few? And wouldn't that bring greater joy and harmony to the whole world, with those radiant gifts of everyone's uniqueness? If we can see the love and beauty in a rose, can we not see it in one another?
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| "Pink Beauty" © 2013 ~ photograph by Carol E Fairbanks |
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