"The Tree of Life" © 1999   ~ colored pencil by Carol E Fairbanks

"While there are many role models in society, for me, I look upon the trees!  By standing proud and simple upon the earth, they guide me to live in harmony with myself and with all of life."  

                                                           ~ from Advice From a Tree by Ilan Shamir

                                    Trees and Me

Earlier that year, I had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I was healing from the surgery and the incredible emotional trauma that accompanied it, as I sat in a chair waiting to be hooked up to a chemo bag, that looked deceptively benign.  The nurses were passing out cookies and Dum Dum suckers to the patients, as I clutched my supportive crystals and mandala journal.  Wrapped securely in my multicolored silk scarf, that was "charged" with Reiki healing energy, I quietly said "no" to the sugar-filled "goodies" that were offered to me while I waited.  An angry thought went through my mind that "hell" itself could be no worse than this senario.    

A nurse, who was trying to insert a needle into my arm, complained impatiently about my veins that seemed to be retreating, as she repeatedly probed in her search.  I wanted to tell her that actually most of me was in a major retreat mode!  When I was all hooked up and the flow of chemical was entering my body, I grabbed my colored pencils and was determined to image something other than the fear that was consuming me.  I had talked with some women patients who were back in treatment for their second and third time and listened to them as they expressed their hopes for a recovery this time.  One woman shared her distress about her doctors, who were arguing about how much of her body to "cut away" in a future surgery.  

I stubbornly willed all of this talk of fear to fade into the sterile atmosphere of the clinic, as I started to move my pencils across the black paper.  My intention was to draw an image of empowerment and wholeness.  With my pencils, I would transform this scary situation into one that pictured the truth of my perfection.  I would draw an image that revealed my God-created wholeness.  I would transform the medical treatment I was receiving into an opportunity to experience a flow of life force, as natural as the earth, herself.  I imagined the flow of chemicals, as the sap in a tree, that supports all the natural processes that manifests life itself.  Indeed, as these pictures were flowing through my veins, along with the chemicals, my attention began to focus on what was whole and right about my body.  I would survive this!

I hadn't intended to draw a tree that day in my mandala, but there is was in my drawing.  It wasn't the only tree, however, that "supported" my recovery.  On days when I felt better, I went for a walk in nature.

Me in my healing tree in Ohio  ~ 1999

In a wooded park on the east side of town, there was a tree that seemed almost magical.  It was a tree that had needles, like an evergreen, but in winter, those needles fell from its branches, like the leaves on broadleaf trees.  The low branches of this ancient-looking tree seem to beckon me and offer itself as a place to be nurtured.  I had read that Native Americans believed that if you sat with your back against the trunk of the tree and released the negativity you were experiencing, that dark energy would flow down through the trunk and the roots into Mother Earth.  Once in the earth, that dark energy could then be transformed into positive light energy and become a benefit to all.  Whether it was true or not mattered very little to me at the time.  Even the people walking through the park, who noticed a "strange woman" sitting in a tree, didn't bother me at all.  All I cared about was that I felt better, as this loving tree" held" me and "carried" away my pain and fear. I went and sat in that special tree many times that year, and each time I felt as if I were visiting a compassionate friend...a dear "mother" who would "tell" me that everything would be okay.

At Mt Pisgah Arboretum in Eugene, OR  ~ 2010

And that ancient-looking, magical tree was right.  Since that challenging healing experience about 14 years ago, I have been trained as a yoga teacher and taught yoga about 5 years, got certified as a decorative artist and taught classes and sold my art work and, the biggest adventure of all, I moved to Oregon. I have had many wonderful adventures hiking the northwest mountain and coastal trails, while the trees continue to nurture and support me. If I am stressed or confused, I go to the woods.  If I feel lonely, the woods is where I head.  If I need to hear that everything will be okay, there is always a caring tree to comfort me.

On the Clear Lake Trail in Oregon  ~ 2013

So, when things seem to be coming apart, there is always a tree with its lessons of truth, teaching the wisdom I need to survive...and ultimately, thrive.

On the McKenzie River Trail in Oregon  ~ 2013

And, if there is an obstacle that threatens my dreams, the trees will inspire me with the insight and courage I need to cross to the other side of it.

Me Hugging a Huge, Ancient Tree near Kentucky Falls in Oregon ~ 2008

Trees are rooted and grounded and very dependable.  They don't abandon you when you need them.  They have endured the "test of time" and inspire me to courageously stand tall and proud.  Trees shade us from the oppressive summer sun, cleanse the air we breathe to make it fresher and cleaner and provide countless homes for all kinds of living creatures.  They know how to bend and dance in the wind, be quiet in the winter and bring forth their gifts of beauty in the spring.  Yes, I am much more than a "tree hugger",  I am a "tree lover".  And I write this blog with unbounded gratitude for their generous gifts to me and to the world.