"Dress for Fun" © 2002 ~ charcoal drawing by Carol E. Fairbanks

"Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only.  Fashion is in the sky, in the streets.  Fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live...what is happening."

                                                                                              ~ Coco Channel

                                  Fashion Statement

In Silverton, OR ~  2013

A letter to Santa is not going to give me what I need right now, while I am moving through this transition.  Even though I am seeking support in making those new decisions, Santa, himself, I'm afraid, doesn't have what I need in his bag of gifts.  I am redefining, not only what I am, but uncovering the very idea of who I am.  That not only affects what I do, and who I do it with, but also, how I present myself to the world.  However, since my days of "impression management" are over, I simply do not have the energy to hold back that authentic self within me that needs (and maybe even, demands!)  to be expressed.

In the summer 2001, when I lived in Ohio and taught yoga, I went to Boulder, Colorado for a training in yoga therapy.  While I was there, my "wild woman" self dug her heels in and refused to go to the yoga training. After playing "hookey" from the yoga classes for a few days, I purchased some art supplies and joined a painting class instead.  I felt devilishly out of control, as I painted and drew and hiked in Boulder all summer.  My dreams were vivid, and my tears of release flowed liked the streams in the mountains, where I hiked. Living my truth and joy that summer, as a free spirit, was one of the happiest times of my life, and the bright orange dress I bought reflected that undisciplined fun I experienced.  To accompany my dress, I found a black velvet jacket, with a burnt orange collar, that seem to say, "Here I am world, ready or not!"  When I wore that outfit during that magical summer, I felt as "beautiful" as the magnificent scenery that surrounded me in Colorado. 

But that orange, Colorado, free-spirited dress no longer "fits" the woman I am today that is birthing within me. Right now, I am not sure of the "ideas" that are asking to be worn and displayed in this new life cycle of mine.  Should I dress as a cowgirl, whose independent ways of thinking are strong enough to challenge anything that might try to "bull" its way into her life?  How about dressing as a mountain woman who braves the primal  elements in a log cabin? Or maybe, I could don a pretty dress or suit and make use of my leadership and organizational skills!  

However I choose to live and dress, I know it must demonstrate the Truth of my reason for living now.  It needs to benefit the world with the supportive message of my life. All the changes that have happened, and, indeed, everything that will transpire, as I live out the rest of my life, is not accidental. I know that the world needs me, just as the world needs each one of us.  If any of us withholds our true self from the world and refuses to live and speak out our destiny, something will be missing that cannot be replaced. So, even though I am being "taken to the edge" so that I can more fully "see" who I am, I am choosing to stay conscious and be present for this self shattering experience.  And what will I wear? Who knows? Maybe my "outfit" will change on a daily basis, and it will necessary to keep my closet filled with lots of choices! All that has been hidden is now coming to the surface... to be "worn" and shown to the world, who needs me to be fully me.... and needs you to be fully you.  And I don't think that we need to dress alike to agree on that!  Even Santa knows how important it is to have the right outfit....one that says who you are and what you are about!  Maybe I should write that letter to Santa after all!

"An Appointment with Santa"  ~ 2010

Forget the letter... I am going to directly talk to a man who really knows how to dress in a way that sends his message to the whole world!  Ho, ho ho!