Woman Emerging ~

"Hiking up the Skyline Trail"  (at Mt Rainier Pk) ~ photo by Lee G Young © 2014

    As I am preparing to make a physical move to a new home, many things are also “moving” within me. They have been for a long time. Some of it is exciting and welcome while other things (especially the letting-go type things!) are more challenging. Yet my art has always been a “compass” to guide and inspire the direction of my journey. The call of becoming that “butterfly” has always beckoned me, as I struggle to stay within my “cocoon” of illusionary safety. But, as my creative images “paint” an emergence not to be argued with, I reluctantly let go of the comfortable familiar in order to emerge into a state of being that is being born regardless of what "i" do.

"Nurturing My Truth" ~ tempera painting by Carol E Fairbanks  © 1998

I painted this intuitive painting (above) in my home studio in the summer of 1998, before a health crisis, …..before my move to Colorado ….and certainly  before I had any idea of the massive changes that were about to take place – both in my mind, as well as in my life.

"A New Perspective" ~ oil painting on paper by Carol E Fairbanks © 1997

It was just a year earlier when I created this painting (above), “Touch Drawing” style, where I moved my hands and fingers over a painted paper turned upside down. When I turned the paper over, the images I “accidentally” created spoke to me of turning and looking at things in an entirely new way. I had just retired from my teaching position and felt like I was in free fall.

"The Flames of Transformation"  ~ acrylic by Carol E Fairbanks  ©2003 

When I moved to Colorado, I thought that it would be a great adventure, and it was…just not the way I thought it would be. Every deeply held belief that needed healing rose up to challenge me. It was the “dark night of the soul”, and I “danced” through those “flames” that burned away the lies I told myself. This acrylic painting (above), done in 2003, shows this transformation in a way that looks like more fun than it actually was!

"Transcending the Facade"  ~ colored pencil by Carol E Fairbanks  © 2004

My pencil drawing on magenta paper, done in Oregon, as an assignment for an art class in 2004, was inspired by pieces of sculpture on display in the art room. They weren’t real… only suggestions of reality. That was the way I viewed things in my life. I was being called to look beyond the facade of life to a greater truth about who I really was.

"A Walk in the Desert"  ~ acrylic by Carol E Fairbanks © 2010

And so, I chose to go on this spirit journey of my heart and soul… and take my inner child, who was never really cared for, along with me. I painted this acrylic painting in 2010 (above) when I was exploring some of my most deeply held beliefs about how “life should be”.

"Alive with Passion"  ~ acrylic by Carol E Fairbanks  © 2010

And, of course, this journey involved exploring some turbulent emotions and ultimately making some dramatic changes in how I felt about my life experiences. I would “ride” these currents of strong feeling with a sense of wonder and play … as shown in this painting done in 2010. (above.)

"Expressing Life" ~ acrylic by Carol E Fairbanks  © 2012

One does not do such a journey without some “hair-raising” events … and I have had some! I painted this painting, "Expressing Life", in 2012 with my sense of humor still intact. It’s interesting that the colors suggest a party about to happen!

"Finding Forgiveness" ~ crayon drawing by Carol E Fairbanks  © 2012

As I evolved through these challenging times, I found that forgiveness was the key. I learned to let go of resentments and transform my hurt into lessons of wisdom and growth. This crayon drawing (above), done in 2012, illustrates that process of receiving a greater understanding of that process we call life.  As I received wisdom from the past, I opened to a brighter and more promising future, and all that hurt was transformed into a thing of beauty and wonder.

"The Autumn of Change" ~ tempera by Carol E Fairbanks © 2013

And during the autumn of my life, when colorful leaves are losing their vibrancy and falling from the trees, I emerge into a sense of who I am beyond everything that I thought defined me. Painted in 2013, I was exploring life totally on my own… not looking at myself through a career, relationships or any achievement. It was just me… alone, yet part of everything and everyone.

"Destiny Within" ~ acrylic by Carol E Fairbanks  © 2014

Painted in 2014, "Destiny Within" was inspired by the connection I was experiencing while on my hikes in the scenic northwest. The beauty I saw in nature, was also within me…. and I felt it intimately while trekking through some fantastic natural wonders. It seemed somehow new to me…. but maybe, it has always been there. It’s just that my vision is much clearer now…. even in the moonlight.

"Emerging Woman" ~ acrylic and ink by Carol E Fairbanks  © 2015

Today, I know the path I open to is one of love…. for myself, for my journey and for all whom I “travel” with. If I am in that energy of compassion and joy, those “bumps in the road” will seem less hair-raising and more adventurous. Like the butterfly, I can finally show all my “colors” to the world.

                         ..... the Wild Woman Walker walks on!