~  Fighting with the Teacher ~

"The Battle Within" © 2000 ~ crayon by Carol E Fairbanks

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through the experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." 

                                                                                                              ~ Helen Keller

"Heart Inspired" © 2000 - crayon by Carol E Fairbanks

I always fear that something is terribly wrong when things don't run smoothly.. or more precisely, just the way I want them to run!  If there is a struggle present in my life, my most immediate impulse is to angrily bolt and run. I tend to perceive these challenges in my life as defining me as being inadequate and lacking in some way. But when I make the choice to look differently at these struggles and see them as opportunities for personal growth and wisdom, they then begin to take on a new light. Author, John R. Miller, has written, "if you will call your troubles experiences and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be."

So maybe those bothersome "troubles" come into my life to assist me in bringing forth my latent skills and talents, that I bury deep beneath my fear. When I am frustrated and challenged by a problem, I fume and stew for a while, but then, after calming down, I eventually figure out a creative way to resolve the situation. As a result, I am empowered by the process of overcoming that difficulty, just the same way I am when I reach the summit, after climbing a rigorous mountain trail.  

"Climbing Bear Peak in the Flatirons, CO"  1998  - photo by Carol E Fairbanks

One of the most difficult mountain hikes I have ever done was in Colorado in the summer of 1998.  I was spending a few weeks in Boulder to take a painting workshop at Naropa, and when I wasn't painting, I was hiking.  I had seen an ad in the local paper about a difficult hike in the Flatiron Mountains that was to be led by a Boulder County park naturalist.  The hike was going up to Bear Peak, and the newspaper ad described the view of the Rocky Mountains that one could see at a distance from the summit.  It sounded like my kind of adventure, and I immediately signed up to go. 

It was predicted to be very hot in the 90's on the day of the hike, and, with the higher elevation, which I wasn't used to, extra water and food were essentials for the trek. Not being fully aware of what this hike required, I showed up with my one small water bottle and no food, just like I did for my walks in Ohio.  But since I was determined and enthusiastic, the park naturalist allowed me to go on the hike anyway.  

The hike wasn't bad at first, but as we started to climb upward, negotiating large boulders on all fours and trekking awkwardly on rocky paths, I slowed down considerably. The rest of the hiking group moved confidently up the path and I quickly lost sight of them. I went through most of my drinking water right away, and the elevation was doing crazy things to my blood sugar.  Feeling thirsty and dizzy, I needed more water and some food, if I were ever going to make it to the summit.  

Just as I was thinking about turning around and going back, a young woman with her little black dog, appeared seemingly out of nowhere and generously offered me, some extra water and munchies.  

"CO Trail Angel"

I was as grateful for her kindness as I was for the food and water that she offered me. She and her friendly little dog stayed with me, offering assistance as I climbed over huge boulders and up rocky paths. When we reached a place right before the last rocky climb up to the summit, she paused and said with an encouraging smile, "You're going to make it up there to see those Rockies!" 

And she was right!  My excitement in looking up at that peak renewed my energy, and I quickly climbed up the rocky cliff to the top, where I snapped my "prize" photo of the distant mountains. When I turned around to thank her for all her help, she was gone with her small dog. I was amazed that a young woman would spend that much time helping me up to the mountaintop, when she could have done it by herself in much less time.  When I started back down, the park naturalist met me and walked the rest of the way down to the trail head with me.  The other members of the hike had finished the hike many hours before me, so that naturalist really put in some overtime helping me out!  

I seem to learn my biggest lessons on mountains. When I desperately need assistance with a challenge I am facing, support seems to be there when I need it the most.  When I'm at the summit, after an arduous climb, I am always energized and empowered by my accomplishment.  What I doubted that I could do, I was able to do!  And all that hard work of climbing up the mountain renders a wondrous reward to me.... greater vision from a higher perspective!  It seems like I can see for miles and miles at the summit. I perceive everything at once in a pattern that fits together like a puzzle.  I can't lie to myself when I climb a mountain. Whatever needs adjustment in my thinking and beliefs, surfaces in my mind with this physical and mental challenge. Nothing negative can be suppressed when I am needing all my resources to get to the top!  And the end result of my mountaintop accomplishment is that I feel like I have conquered the world, when it is only my fear and lack of confidence that I have triumphed over. 

"Creating Courage" © 2002 ~ crayon by Carol E Fairbanks